You might be a ricer if...

[dorimilk]

You might be a ricer if...



Not drifting related, but its funny.

[ToplessFC3Sman]

This has been on here before, but still amusing, and i hadnt seen the update thingy

AIOP means already in other post, since this has been on here more than once, and i just sorta restated what was there that i remember, adding my opinion

A Ricer If…
_________________________________________________
You ever painted your wheels to match the same color of your car.
You put your automatic car in neutral at every stoplight in order to roll it back and try to fool other people into thinking you have a manual transmission
Your rims and tires are so large, that you have to install the tire /
The dealer laughs when you bring your car back in for service under warranty, and you've only had it 6 months... - you drive it hard.. i heard from one subaru dealer that out of every 4 WRX's they sold, 1 came back wrecked within 6 months
Your tires / rims stick out from the lip of your car by more than 1."
You installed spacers on your STOCK wheels and tires to get them to stick out past the fender. - AIOP, but spending $ on performance, not looks? whats so bad here?
You add a super tall rear wing, and a hundred pounds of aftermarket ground effects, neon and stereo yet you gut the interior and yank out the rear seat for weight savings. - addressed below
Your rear wing AND your rear window have a third mount brake light... - AIOP some cars have this stock
You cut 4 coil springs and scrape the chassis on the ground. - addressed below
You painted the UNDERBODY of your car to match - show cars, including all types of cars
You have more stereo WATTS than engine TORQUE! - some cars, the domestics these guys love included, come that way stock
You spent $5,000 on the engine and you can not out run a stock Camaro, Firebird, or Mustang - AIOP, straight line or twisty road?
You want the 'wastegate' sound, but don't want to install a turbocharger system. - wasnt there a post with a link to ebay on here somewhere
The automatic version of your car runs 2 seconds slower in the 1/4mile. torque converters suck.... especially on 4 cyls
You think the Del Sol is a sports car... they have the normal 2 cam VTEC, not the economy-minded iVTEC engine, and ive seen a few kick-a$$ del sols
If you think that horsepower is far more important than torque - AIOP if torques the most important to you, get a diesel
If you have ever claimed that switching to a cone filter has given you more than 5 HP. - depending on stock HP and modifications, plus the type of engine (rotarys respond really well to the removal of airflow restrictions), you can get 5 or more
If you have ever considered installing more than one set of fog / driving lights. - take a nice long look at a rally car sometime (especially for a muddy or snowy stage)
You spent all night on the Internet trying to find a company that makes a turbocharger system for your Hyundai... - well, if you spent all night, you dont know what google is, cause they're out there
If you removed your side view mirrors and put them at the TOP of the door / window frame. - lambroghini style? cool
If you think the Fugees are 'speed' music. - to each his own
Your four cylinder has a dual exhaust system installed. - 2 pipes, 2 rotors (not exactly cylenders, but hey... and ive seen that stock before)
Your four cylinder has four exhaust pipes ("Hey, one for each cylinder!") - well, my 2... rotor... has 2 exhaust pipes
If you cannot drive your car in snow as the ground effects create a plow effect. - any car will have this
If you think that 180 horsepower and 185 lb/ft of torque are impressive for a ‘mildly’ modified engine. - AIOP - for a KA series, or a 13B N/A, thats not bad, especially for mildly modified
You think pushrods are a bad thing… - AIOP they are... well, not a bad thing, but an outdated thing. Just look at the mustang v8 engine and the camaro v8. Mustang has about the same hp out of 4.6 or 5 liters that camaro gets out of 5.7 liters. Im not one to turn down a newer, better technology
Every Honda you EVER owned, all the way back to your 1978 Accord was either a V-Tec or a TYPE-R. - so you like a little extra power out of your honda econoboxes
You took your rear seat out and gutted your interior for weight savings but you installed 400 pounds of electronics, neon, DVD, Sony, etc. - weight savings to make up for a cool stereo
If you gutted the interior to save weight on a car that you will never take to the track… - AIOP, its happened, better weight distribution, track-type benefits on real roads
You lean your seat so far back when you are driving, that everytime you hit a bump, its your back and not your butt that hurts. - ever seen an F1 car?
If you have ever thought Hyundai and "performance" went hand in hand - Hyundai Tibouron GTV6 is a pretty decent performing car, even if it is FF. Plus, they have a rally program, which is more than can be said for GM/chevy
If you've removed more than 1/2 of the coils from your springs by cutting them yourself ... 1/2 is a bit extreme, but cutting coils is a way to cheaply lower ride height, at the expense of bottoming out more frequently, and sometimes some other oddities
You own a "TYPE-R" Hyundai or Mazda. - AIOP, there was a type R RX-7
You claim that polishing your intake gave you 5hp. - with high powered/modified engines, it can give more than 5 hp
You ever claimed that high gas mileage made your car superior in performance to V8s. - maybe not exactly, but the lotus elise makes about 30 mpgs, thats more than i can say for any V8
If it takes you 8000rpm to reach 30mph from a dead stop at WOT. - low gearing (albiet very low), but depending on the powerband will help acceleration
You spend $500 for a giant hand welded tube for a muffler with the weld marks extremely visible - so, your on a budget
You have a front wing. - downforce is not something just needed in the rear, but also in front to help turning at high speeds
If you equate the sound of performance with the sound of a Weed Eater™ - high powered motorcycles?
If you think colored head lights work better - AIOP, but its been proven yellow light cuts thru fog better
Clear tail lights and turn signals. They’re colored for a REASON! - it looks pretty good in some applications
You claim you lost the race because you had a passenger in the car. - depending on the weight of the car (opel speedster, lotus elise), it can make as much as a second difference in 0-60 times (i think its .8 sec on the opel speedster
You claim how if you went from a roll you would have beat him. - pretty much negates the advantages of AWD when compaired to RWD or FWD (and RWD to FWD)
You claim you lost because he must have been on the juice.. - whats this juice, and where can i get some!?!?
rev your motor and fail to break the wheels loose even around a corner. - called grip driving
Tell everyone about how you lost the cop because of your "driving skills." - well, running from the cop is just sorta stupid (extreme cases dont apply), but yea, running from a caprice with an LT1, especially on a highway or other straight road can be quite an accomplishment
You can relate to every line of the song "Pretty Fly For A White Guy" by the Offspring - hey, i like the offspring!
you take offense when I say.. "your sister is like your car.. small, tight and hard to get into." - well, if this asshole was banging my sister, id be offended at her horrible taste (small car does not equal bad... lotus elise)

15's are considered HUGE rims - on an old-school mini cooper, yes they are

You can reach back and defrost the rear window by hand - so, you have a small car, usually better for weight/performance... you can do that in the last gen camaro's too... or at least i could, im 6'2

Your aftermarket tach is bigger than your fist - easier to read when you flash your eyes down cause u dont want to take your attention off the road

You bought the big *Censored**Censored**Censored* tach to try to scare off the fast cars

But all it does is let people know how hard you have to push it to exceed the legal speed limit

You've entered a 12 step program called "How to come to terms with your limitations" - so? some people have problems, taking on too much, and its good that they can realize this

You really want to kick my *Censored**Censored**Censored* right now - ignorance coupled with the lack of desire to understand pisses me off

You add a wing on TOP of your car, 'cause wagons need down force too - WRX wagon, S4 avant...

You get pimped out props from the mini truck crowd - Wasnt there a very sweet pic of a toyota tacoma on here earlier today? It was pretty cool

You still only get dates from high school girls - what if your in high school?

Your dad is worried cause you bought a car with less displacement than his lawnmower - I have an RX-7, 1.3 liters, and have seen 1.5 liter lawn mowers... beastly things

[dorimilk]

You can reach back and defrost the rear window by hand - so, you have a small car, usually better for weight/performance... you can do that in the last gen camaro's too... or at least i could, im 6'2

I could do that too, for I am 6'7"/ Looooong arms. I didn't think smaller cars help with weight/performance ratios. I thought placement of things did.

[SaintDrift]

Obviously whoever wrote this is into large V8s and drag racing. Off course if your not tuning your car for drag, you must be a ricer. Stupid. By the way, juice is nitrous if you didn't know.

[ToplessFC3Sman]

yea.... ya mean they arent injecting orange juice into their engines? damn... thats probably why my car isnt working! lol jk.

Smaller usually means lighter, just cause there's less of it, and that cant hurt performance anyway

[ToplessFC3Sman]

Oh wow, I broke 100 posts and didnt even know it!!! WOO HOO!!!

[dorimilk]

Originally posted by SaintDrift
Obviously whoever wrote this is into large V8s and drag racing. Off course if your not tuning your car for drag, you must be a ricer. Stupid. By the way, juice is nitrous if you didn't know.

I ain't no ricer damit, and don't flame me!

[Ghost]

hahaha, that's me!

[scirocco]

Rice Joke #1: You know you’re a ricer when your car can’t clear the pebbles in your driveway
Rice Joke #2: You know you’re a ricer when you have a Type-R coffee mug
Rice Joke #3: You know you’re a ricer when you have a giant muffler for your assRice Joke #4: You know you’re a ricer when you have a “My other car is a civic” bumper sticker
Rice Joke #5: You know you’re a ricer when you have neons for your pants
Rice Joke #6: You know you’re a ricer when your car is sponsored by Uncle Ben’s
Rice Joke #7: You know you’re a ricer when you get free chopsticks in the mall parking lot
Rice Joke #8: You know you’re a ricer when you cant see cop car lights thru ur tinted windows
Rice Joke #9: You know you’re a ricer when your spoiler can’t clear low-flying aircraftRice Joke #10: You know you’re a ricer when you’re driving a bowl full of noodles
Rice Joke #11: You know you’re a ricer when your decals conceal your entire yellow paint job
Rice Joke #12: You know you’re a ricer when you have chopsticks for short shifters
Rice Joke #13: You know you’re a ricer when have a spoiler collection
Rice Joke #14: You know you’re a ricer when your name is victor and your chin hits the steering wheel
Rice Joke #15: You know you’re a ricer when you have so many dash toys you can’t see out ur windshield
Rice Joke #16: You know you’re a ricer when you have alteeza taillights on ur house
Rice Joke #17: You know you’re a ricer when you get kicked out of the AirCare building
Rice Joke #18: You know you’re a ricer when you lost to a bike in a drag race
Rice Joke #19: You know you’re a ricer when you have neons and ground effects for your bed


i made all that when i wuz 13 or so for icq nicknames... the thing about victor is an inside joke so just ignore it

[Tybalt]

LOL nice jokes, better than the first set.